I had given up on God for many months because of the pain and betrayal I felt. I yelled at God, shook my fist at the sky, and questioned everything I believed.
I realized later that this excruciating process was necessary because when I questioned my faith, I realized I’d never actually had a personal relationship with Christ. I had coasted through church life out of routine and duty, with head knowledge, but no heart knowledge.
It reminds me of the process to refine gold and silver…how metal must be super heated to the point of melting in order to bring out the dross – the impurities.
- Proverbs 35:4 – Take away the dross from the silver, and there comes out a vessel for the silversmith.
- Proverbs 17:3 – The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the LORD tests hearts.
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory (1 Peter 1:4-6).
Just as the parable of one sheep out of ninety-nine that would be pursued, He did pursue me.
What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying? If it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish. 🐑
y young children and I attended a new church eventually as the Lord began to work in my heart – they were only ages five and 18 months.
My five-year-old, Morgan Faith, was walking with me out of Hunter Street Church one Sunday and hands me a picture she drew in Sunday School. It was a large, black triangle with a stick figure on the side of the triangle.
The stick figure had dark hair and blue eyes (just like me!) and I asked Morgan what it was.
t’s you, Mommy! You’re going up a mountain.” 🏔
I asked, “Why am I going up a mountain?”
Morgan replied, “So you can see all the beautiful things at the top.” ☀️
I stopped suddenly in the parking lot. Tears filled my eyes as my Lord used her innocent words and drawing to speak directly to my heart. Yes, I was going up a mountain. It was hard. But, there would be beautiful things at the top. He promised.
I said, “Jesus talks to you, doesn’t He?”
She answered, “Yes, He tells me I am sweet.”
Luke 1:45 – Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her! ❤
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