I had just given birth to our second child, Hope. Her older sister is Faith.
Faith and Hope.
I gave up on God for many months because of the pain and betrayal I felt. I yelled at God, shook my fist at the sky, and questioned everything I had ever believed.
I realized later that this excruciating process was necessary because when I questioned my faith, I realized I’d never actually had a personal relationship with Christ. I had coasted through church life out of routine and duty – a cultural Christian.
Like the process to refine gold and silver, when metal must be super heated to the point of melting in order to bring out the impurities, I was in the fire.
- Proverbs 35:4 – Take away the dross from the silver, and there comes out a vessel for the silversmith.
- Proverbs 17:3 – The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the LORD tests hearts.
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory (1 Peter 1:4-6).
We started attending a new church as the Lord began to refine me.
Morgan Faith (age 5), came out of Hunter Street Church one day and handed me a picture she drew in Sunday School.
It was a large, black triangle with a stick figure on the side.
The stick figure had dark hair and blue eyes (just like me!) and I asked Morgan what it was.
It’s you, Mommy! You’re going up a mountain.”
I asked, “Why am I going up a mountain?”
Morgan replied, “So you can see all the beautiful things at the top.” ☀️
I stopped suddenly in the parking lot.
Tears filled my eyes as my Lord used her innocent words and drawing to speak directly to my heart.
Yes, I was going up a mountain. It was hard. But, there would be beautiful things at the top. He promised.
I said, “Jesus talks to you, doesn’t He?”
She answered, “Yes, He tells me I am sweet.”
That girl. ❤️ She was right.
I climbed the mountain.
And it was beautiful.
There was actually a whole range of mountains ahead of me, but here I am, in 2018, loving Jesus more than I ever thought possible, and actually thankful for the valleys (and one broken leg) that now allow me to encourage other women of the unfailing and precious love of Christ.
Copyright © 2011 Keysha Thomaston.