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What Is All Joy?

You know how you learn and see things in hindsight? After the Lord has had time to slowly work you into understanding?

You know how sometimes you may not want to hear that verse from James where someone reminds you to consider it “all joy” when trials come your way?

Let me give you a personal example, for what is the purpose of learning a godly lesson if you don’t share it with others? He glory is still being revealed.

When I broke my leg, I went into a very grumpy place. That description will keep this PG-13.

It was Christmas break of Morgan’s senior year, Melody was starting club volleyball, and I could barely get myself to the bathroom. I couldn’t get my own food, I couldn’t drive, and I had to sleep on the couch.

There were all kinds of reasons to complain. Where was my joy?

My right leg looked like it had been squished in a waffle iron. It was an important time at work and I tried to go back a week after my surgery because I hate not meeting due dates and not being on schedule with my job. I cannot stand to inconvenience people if I’m not there. I want my neat little stacks with my color-coded labels and my notes written with my red pen.

Seriously.

How OCD. No wonder God allowed me to break my leg! Maybe I had multiple areas to prune. ☺️

Although I have posts similar to this concerning my “broken” lessons, today’s is different because March 28 was my brother’s birthday.

🎩▪️▫️💚▪️▫️🎩▪️▫️💚▪️▫️🎩

If I had not broken my leg on 12/23/16, then I would not have talked to my brother almost every week, for the eight weeks he borrowed my car – which ended up being the last eight weeks of his life.

His van broke down on the way to my grandmother’s house on Christmas Eve. He was in an awful mood.

My dad and uncle left with him to have it towed, so then he had a non-working blazer and broken-down work van.

I told him later that he could just use my car because I couldn’t drive anyway.

I’ll never forget the weight that lifted from his face. As he drove away in it on Christmas Day – that was the last time I saw him.

We texted off and on (way more than usual for him) after that, until two days before he died…about when he was bringing it back or how my surgery and recovery were going…and how we both were in a crisis.

He called me that week and I missed it. I never had the chance to call him back. All I have are texts.

Only my family really knows why I don’t like talking on the phone, particularly about painful things. Hearing the person’s voice makes me cry, or either I don’t want them to hear the pain in my voice. I will call my cousin or sister to deliver messages to my grandmother about our court issues, because I cannot hear the agony in her voice that she feels for me when I tell her what is happening.

So, I hide behind text messages, much to the annoyance of some people. I really don’t care.

It sounds awful, maybe, versus hearing someone’s voice, but I am glad Jeremy and I had many text conversations during those two months, because I have saved the screenshots in multiple places, forever.

I have his final words to me, and honestly, there was something eerily foreboding about things he said.

That’s it.

That’s the last thing I have from him.

An emoji. A crying one.

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If I had to do it all over again…I would gladly and joyfully go through the pain, inconvenience, burden and struggle of this metal plate and nine metal screws in my leg – just to have these messages – just to have the reason to correspond, outside of our busy lives, where we rarely saw one another.

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As I sat at the doctor yesterday, explaining my struggle of being active and trying to exercise through the constant pull under my skin, trying to lose weight and get my blood pressure under control, she said my leg, particularly my ankle, would probably never be the same.

And that is okay with me.

For I can now consider it ALL JOY – nothing but joy – my brothers and sisters, whenever I fall into various trials.

Be assured that the testing of my faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace].

And then I can let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that I may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.

-K

James 1:2-4 Amplified Bible

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